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Monday, June 9, 2008


All mortals, bow down and beg for mercy at the feet of Maryada Purushottam Ram(u),who blesses us(making classics like Aag) and looks after us all("I'll probably remake some of my old titles...",the Lord assures us ).For his benevolence knows no bounds and the divine fruits of his orchard have manifested themselves once again in the form of Sarkar Raj.

Going into the film,we have been properly bombarded with slogans like "Power cannot be given,it can only be taken" coupled with giant ochre-shaded blow-ups of the Bachchan family which prays together(to Lord Ramuji,of course),and hence stays together,despite the giggles.Abhishek Bachchan, the energetic young devotee,apparently wants something real bad from the Lord,because all he does is stare moodily at the screen ,at his dad,or at the heavens above,searching for the answer to Life,the Universe and Everything Else To Be Ignored In A Ram Gopal Verma Film.

Amitabh Bachchan,the head priest of the Temple of Lord Ram(u),is somewhat content singing praises of the Lord.But one day the Lord Ram(u) himself comes to him in a dream and speaks to him saying,"You have to sacrifice your son at my altar,to prove yourself my worthy devotee." Amitabh rolls out the rudraksh,cleans his specs once or twice, and gets on with the game. And so the prodigal son dies, but not before Amitabh has a quick word with him in the ICU "Don't worry son,the Lord works in mysterious might still come back in the next film.''

And then he proceeds to punish the disbelievers and the kafirs with the Lord's fury.These include a weird words magician Govind Namdeo and a deranged unwashed type who keeps saying his name over and over again("Vohra, V-o-o-o-h-r-a-a-a-)when he is not singing "Gapuchi Gapuchi gam gam" ,that is.

Oh,and did I mention the temple Devdasi Aishwarya?? Silly me! She is the staunchest of all the devotees of the Lord Ram(u).She is convinced that she is in this film to act, despite all the warning signs (minimal lines, reduced to a spare part in most of the scenes) and she just refuses to see reason. ("Impossible is a word I don't like" , she says.) Apparently,in the cult of the Lord Ram(u),earthly desire is also forbidden for young Abhishek, because the moment he grasps Aishwarya's hand, he gets shot down by the Lord's thunderbolt(six sniper bullets usually do the trick).Satisfied with the chain of events she herself started(she believes that our Lord is indeed a loving shepherd, and so she heads a company called Sheppard), at the end she settles down into the slain devotee's chair,and lazily proclaims," Ek chaai laana."

The moral of the story is- if by now you have witnessed the miracles of the Lord Ram(u) with your own eyes, then feel free to become a devotee yourself in this wonderful,magical religion. I suggest starting with some of the essential viewing (Aag, James, Shiva et al).Go grab your DVD's and start praying.

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